Long Weekend

I was gong to try to write something earlier but I had to pull the plug on the computer this weekend.

I had been thinking about his long holiday weekend for a while. I planned on opening up he big grill, getting out big steaks, and a couple of cases of beer. Then we'd invite the three sets of neighbors over, get the women drunk and see who would be the first to take off her top this year. It's a semi-annual event, Memorial Day and Labor Day. All three women have nice sets and are proud of themselves. They don't like to admit how much they enjoy showing it all off, so they have to get drunk. But it doesn't take much to get them drunk, so off we go.

But this year I had to pick up my thriteen year-old daughter for the weekend. Her mother, my first wife, the lovely but impossible Melissa, the one woman who really deserves to be called the one word that women most hate to be called, made it clear that this was my weekend with the product of our years of raging incompatibility, Lindsey.

Now, I love Lindsey. She is mine and I take responsibility for her, just as I do my older son, Paul, who is now in college and hardly speaks to me. But, as Lindsey has grown-up and her mother has poisoned her against me, and taught her that the reason there are men in the world is to use their charge-cards. I have tried to be calm and caring. It is often difficult.
This Friday, Lindsey jumped in the car, gave me a hug, asked if we can stop at the mall, and then got on the phone with her friends. This is the phone I had to buy and pay for, and put her on my plan, but have no control over. She sends me text messages ca couple of times a week to say "hi" but won't answer when I call.

Before we had gone five miles we were in a big fight because I wanted her to turn the damn thing off and talk to me. She wanted to meet her friends at the mall and spend more of my money to go shopping..

When we actually got home, two hours and $150 later, she was nice to her younger sister Chelsea, but snotty to Tammy, my now wife, who always tries to be good to her. Then she jumped on my computer and began IMing all her friends who she had just seen about how all the money I spent wasn't really enough.

So I pulled the plug.

Then I sat on the deck and just drank my beer. If we all got started on our Memorial Day sport and her mother found out, I would be in court by Wednesday.